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Thoughts

Sometimes new beginnings can remind you of the realities of life. The things that have been pushed back in your memory bank to help you remain happy. Those things you compartmentalize. The things you packed away and hoped to never unpack again. As I am preparing for a new future and getting things in order. I am reminded of the people who are there and the ones who aren't. I am reminded on multiple levels. The deeper level of those who are no longer here with us and the surface level of those who are just not with me at the times I need someone. And I try to pack it away again, but sometimes my thoughts are larger than the storage container I have to hold them. So they linger. And I have no choice but to face them. Acknowledge them. Absorb them. Try to understand them to the point they are small enough to be tucked away again. So as I sit here I am analyzing these thoughts, and molding them into smaller manageable pieces. And I do this alone. And wonder when that will end.  

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